X-Men - Blackbird

The Blackbird is was based on the SR-71 Blackbird and is also know as the X Jet. The Blackbird doesn’t have any weaponry apart from a stealth mode. In the X-Men movies, Storm uses her power to create tornados to try and destroy the heat seeking missiles the military fires at them.

Batman - Batwing

The Batwing is used in the 1989 Batman movie to stop the Joker releasing toxic chemicals from giant balloon animals. Using wire cutters at the front of the craft, Batman cuts the balloons lose and takes them high in the sky. Even with the mounted machine guns the Batwing was no match for the Jokers long-barreled revolver. Batman would fly the Batwing in front of the moon to create a silhouette of a bat in the moon light. He also created another Batwing with detachable wings that turned into a submarine.

Star Wars - Millennium Falcon

What’s cooler than flying through space in a spacecraft designed around a hamburger, with a Wookie as your co-pilot? How about flying through hyper space? As Peter Griffin says in the Family Guy special, Blue Harvest, ‘Man hyper space always looks so freaky’. The mounted gun turrets are used by Han Solo and Luke Skywalker to fend of Tie Fighters while Chewbacca pilots the Millennium Falcon in a last-minute escape from the Death Star.

Star Wars - Tie Fighter

One of the most iconic star wars vehicles along with the Millennium Falcon and Death Star. Armed with lasers, Tie Fighters fight in packs to take down the enemy. Darth Vader even has his own stylish Tie Fighter, but instead of straight wings they are bent, similar to the Tie Bomber in appearance. Even with his more advanced Tie Fighter Darth Vader fails in his attempt to destroy Luke Skywalker’s X-Wing whilst the Death Star is under attack.

Transformers - Starscream

Starscream was one Decepticon who could fly into space after transforming into a F-15 Eagle jet. Starscream was a coward, flying off to Cybertron when battles got too intense, even though he was armed with cluster bombs and his signature Null Ray able of taking down electric signals. Starscream came close to being leader of the Decepticons but always made awrong decision resulting in defeat by Megatron.

Fantastic 4 - Fantasticar

Reed Richards invented the latest version of the Fantasticar in the movie Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer. The two main features of the Fantasticar are Split and Autopilot. The Fantasticar can split into three parts: front, middle and back. Mr Fantastic (Reed Richards) pilots the front, The Invisible Woman (Susan Storm) and The Human Torch (Johnny Storm) pilot the middle and The Thing (Ben Grimm) pilots the back. In the film Rise of the Silver Surfer, Mr Fantastic uses the autopilot feature so they can transport the Silver Surfer and chase Dr. Doom.

Terminator - Aerial HK’s

The Skynet Aerial HK is a VTOL (vertical take-off and landing) aircraft. With its 108 ft wingspan and array of weaponry including plasma cannons and missiles, the Aerial HK is one of Skynet’s most powerful forces. The main weakness of the Aerial HK is its slow maneuver system. With a good enough hit the HK can be bought down with a single surface-to-ground shoulder missile.

Independence Day - Mothership

The mothership in Independence Day is protected by a force field and is armed with a single yet extremely power laser mounted underneath. While the laser charges, the bottom of the mothership opens up revealing the hidden weapon. One of the most famous scenes is when the mothership flies over the White House and destroys it. With the help of David Levinson, played by Jeff Goldblum, a virus is created to take down the forcefield.

Halo - Pelican and The Spirit

Both of these aerial vehicles provide support for both the UNSC and the Covenant. The Pelican has no weaponry. The Spirit has mounted plasma cannons with later versions having grunts firing mounted plasma turrets. Unfortunately through outHalo Combat Evolved, Halo 2, Halo 3 and Halo ODST, the player cannot take control of either vehicle with the exception of highjacking a Spirit in ODST. Even then you don’t get to pilot it, just use it to escape. Most of the levels throughout the Halo games see you dropped off in The Pelican and being surrounded by Covenant or Brutes. There are some glitches that allow you to stay inside The Pelican but these serve no real purpose. The first game didn’t have destructible vehicles, but Halo 2, 3 and ODST changed this allowing you to either completely destroy the Spirit or blow the plasma cannons off to advance on the enemy. With either a rocket launcher, spartan laser, grenades or a turret you could kill most of the Covenant or Brutes that would drop out and even blow up any vehicles the Spirit would deploy.

Cheap fares are still being made available by many airlines. Finding the price that you want to pay for your next adventure may not be easy, but there are deals to be had if you are willing to put in some effort to find that fare which fits your budget. Finding out the secrets to how airlines keep fares low will get you even closer to your quest to discover the best deals.

Airline tickets spent many years getting lower as companies competed for business. The last few years have seen the airline industry face some of its toughest times, and the immediate reaction was increased prices and lower amenities. The terrorist attacks of 9/11 only added to the existing troubles of a struggling industry. The next blow to the airlines came in the form of extremely high oil and gas prices. These last two years the entire travel industry has faced tough times with the struggling world economies. 

Despite all of the troubles that have faced the airlines, they have managed to keep some tickets at rock bottom prices. Sometimes these low prices are in areas where the airline is launching new flights. The extremely low airfares are countered by higher prices to other destinations, increased prices in amenities and other ways to deflect the cost of low fares.

Some airlines have made it their business to create low fares for all of their flights. This business model has not always been the route for the airline industry as a whole, but it has proven effective. Southwest Airlines is one of the airline companies that works to keep fares low and customer service high.

The easiest way for the airlines to keep fares low is to expand slowly. Mastering one area and building that part of the company before expanding into a new region or route provides a sound foundation for the company. It is a business principle that has been used across industries and not just for airlines.

Low fares can be offered by airlines when there are outside incentives to make the routes happen. Governments have been known to offer subsidies to airlines in an effort to provide services in areas where airlines might not otherwise choose to fly. These subsidies not only encourage airlines to start new routes but also allow them to lower the cost of tickets to and from these destinations.

Another way that airlines are able to keep airfare low is to keep the planes full. Flights that go to the hottest destinations are often the least expensive because there are so many flights into those locations. These means more airlines are competing for passengers. There are also more passengers flying to the locations.

Technology provides an even more valuable way to keep fares low for airlines. The ability to fly higher, which keeps the plane from using as much fuel, helps to lower the cost of the flight. These savings can be on to consumers.

As airlines continue to expand the technology around the industry there will be even more ways for the airlines to keep fares low. For now, most airlines are learning that sticking to the hottest flights, expanding slowly and working with governments are some of the most efficient ways to ensure consumers that airfares are as low as they can be without cutting back even more on the conveniences that have become associated with flying.

Consumers still want the best deal around, but they also want quality for the price. Shopping around can get you low fares for flights if you are willing to invest the time and the effort to uncover the best deals. Understanding how airlines keep fares low can take you even farther in your search to find the best fare possible for your travel needs.

In the business world, you don’t exist without a Wi-Fi signal. Take a look around you on your next flight - high-ranking execs pumping their legs, tapping their armrests, wondering just what they’re missing with their Blackberrys dead to the world. Ninja fights will break out in the first class section upon landing as CEO-suck-ups battle for the single bar of coverage. That’s what the curtain is for.

For most of us, this is a situation we’ve come to accept as part of airline travel. You fasten your seatbelt, cast a cursory glance at the airline safety card, check the sick bag hasn’t been used, laugh at the airline magazine cover (sample headline: An Interview with Athol Fugard) and turn off your mobile phone. Phones even have a specific flight mode now, effectively castrating their connective powers (the iPhone has a cute little orange plane that wings in from the side of the screen). The reason for this is, sadly, dull. Mobile phones transmit signals at nearly the same frequency as aircraft communications. It’s one of those classic ‘should have seen it coming’ blunders, like when Prince Harry got dressed up as a Nazi. Using your mobile phone on board a plane could, theoretically (though statistically improbably) result in the complete and total destruction of the plane and the death of everyone on board.

Wi-Fi is different. It operates at a different frequency from aircraft communications, so can be used quite safely. Wi-Fi-enabled aircraft are equipped with three antennae (two on the underside, one on top) that allow them to function as moving hotspots, picking up signals from ground-based towers or satellites, just like your laptop or smartphone does. If this sounds like magic it’s because it is, and the system actually works by feeding telepathic thoughts directly into your mind, convincing you that the blank screen in front of you is actually displaying a year-on-year 1000% increase in profits.

There are two main providers of airline Wi-Fi. Gogo relies on ground-based towers, resulting in a loss of signal over large bodies of water. Row 44 avoids this problem by using signals from satellites. Prices vary from $5 to $15 depending on the length of the flight, and Wi-Fi is still predominantly a US endeavour, though international airlines are starting to implement it.

There are some caveats to airline Wi-Fi. As it currently stands not all aircraft are outfitted with Wi-Fi, even if the airline touts this as a selling point. Have you ever flicked through the entertainment guide on-board, seen a movie you really want to watch and then found out it’s only available on transatlantic flights? Prepare for that same feeling of disappointment. Some airlines also only allow specific types of network traffic on their Wi-Fi systems to avoid bandwidth bottlenecking. Want to check your e-mails? Go right ahead. Want to Google something? Not on your nelly.

As airline Wi-Fi becomes more reliable and ubiquitous and less of a selling point, the feature set is likely to settle down. Which raises the real question: do you want to pay hotel-sized Wi-Fi fees to access the web in-flight, a place which was once considered a safe haven from the always-on lifestyle we now live? It’s almost a certainty that within the next two decades having a Wi-Fi signal will be an assumption rather than a luxury, and that losing that signal will be akin to running out of petrol (assuming there’s any of that left) or having a power cut. As technology becomes more transparent, and communicating at 30,000 feet for a pittance with someone thousands of miles away in a manner that a generation ago would have seemed like science fiction becomes commonplace, what opportunity do we have to switch off? Perhaps those Virgin Galactic flights will come in handy…

*For a full summary of airlines that currently provide Wi-Fi (accurate to December 2009), check out this website.

Yeager’s family were not well off. He joined the army when he was sixteen where he served as a mechanic working o army aircraft. After he had served three years he was selected to train as a pilot where he displayed a natural flair and talent for flying. In 1944 he was posted to Britain where he was put in in charge of flying P-51 Mustangs in the war. Shot down over France, he was lucky not to be captured, eventually managing to escape to Spain. Soon he was back piloting planes again, this time with the 363rd Fighter Squadron. This itself was revolutionary given that the army had a policy forbidding escapee pilots from ever flying over enemy territory again.

Chuck Yeager: legend.

Yeager stood out from the crowd from the very start of his piloting career. He was an exceptional pilot with 20:20 vision. He showed courageous leadership in combat. He also made history by becoming the first American pilot to shoot down five enemy aircraft during one mission – known as making an ‘ace in a day’.

Even after the war had finished Yeager stayed in the Air Force. He operated as a test pilot before being selected to research a high-speed flight in a NACA program, flying the Bell X-1.

October 14th 1947 was the historic day when Yeager broke the sound barrier. He was flying the Bell X-1 at Mach 1 at an altitude of 45,000 feet (13,700m). His achievement is made even more spectacular given that two days before this event he had actually broken two of his ribs while out horse-riding. Yeager was so petrified that his injury would result in him being pulled from the test mission that he saw a vet in a nearby town instead of consulting a doctor and he only told his one good friend about it, a man by the name of Jack Ridley. Mr Ridley was then instrumental in constructing a device to help Yeager to be able to seal the hatch of the plane. Unsurprisingly, due to the part that Yeager’s X-1 has played in aviation history, it is housed in the Smithsonian Institution National Air and Space Museum.

The Bell X-1A in flight.

Yeager breaking the sound barrier was not the only record that he went on to break. In actual fact throughout his life he broke many altitude and speed records. He was also the first American pilot to fly a MiG-15 plane. This came about after the plane’s pilot defected to Japan with it.

In 1953 Chuck Yeager was working on the X-1A aircraft with the USAF team. It was expected that it would surpass Mach 2 during level flights. However, it was not expected that Douglas Skyrocket (great name for a pilot, don’t you think) and Scott Crossfield would actually become the first team to ever reach double the speed of sound. Unhappy at having been beaten, Chuck and his good mate Ridley decided that they were going to beat the speed record set by Crossfield. They named their challenge, Operation NACA Weep. They succeeded.

Several years later, in 1962, Chuck commenced his work with the USAF Aerospace Research Pilot School. This school produced astronauts for USAF and NASA. If Chuck could go back in time he would probably regret taking this position because an accident at one of the school’s NF-104s actually resulted in the demise of his record attempts.

Museumified.

Speaking after the accident, Chuck recalled: ‘…when this happened, the visor on my pressure suit was busted and frayed, it cut my eye down and my eye socket filled with blood, so it didn’t hurt my eyeball. I got burned pretty bad on my neck and shoulder and it was very difficult to breathe. The only thing I knew, I was stunned from the blow, I knew I had to get my visor up on my pressure suit helmet. There is a button on the right, you push it and then you raise your visor. It’s the way you get your visor up on most pressure suits. I knew I had to get it off, get that visor up to shut the oxygen flow from my kit that was in the back of my pressure suit to get all this fire out. So I did that. Then I swung a couple of times and hit the ground. I couldn’t see too much and I was having trouble breathing because there was a lot of smoke and fire. But it worked out. You either do or you don’t and I didn’t get killed in the flat. I stood up and Andy buzzed me. Since I had been talking to them on the way down, four minutes from the first spin to impact, they had a helicopter off with a flight surgeon aboard, a doctor at Edwards. He got out there, probably within five minutes of the time I landed, picked me up, have me a shot of morphine and took me back to the hospital. They worked on me, cut my pressure suit off and that was about it.’

On the fiftieth anniversary of his historic Mach 1 flight, Chuck Yeager flew a brand new plane – the Glamorous Glennis, an F-15D – past Mach 1 accompanied by Lt. Col. Troy Fontaine. He was chased by show pilot Bob Hoover flying a F-16. He addressed the crowds afterwards, saying: ‘All that I am… I owe to the Air Force.’

The airline industry may have changed its standards but that does not necessarily translate to airports that are more secure than before. Tighter security methods may have only succeeded in lengthening the time a thirty-minute flight takes to more than two hours. More airport security did lower the amount of petty crimes that occur in airports and that along with the comfort that comes from the increased security may make it all worthwhile.

The world changed when the 9/11 attacks occurred. The airline industry, which had already been struggling, took an additional hit. People became concerned about the safety involved with flying. As a result of the terrorist attacks and the reactions of the world, airport security tightened up even more.

Gone were the days of showing up just in time to catch a flight or walking with a passenger to the gate to see that passenger off. Passengers faced long security lines and lengthened security processes.

There have been no additional terrorist attacks on airplanes since that tragic event. Passengers now are accustomed to removing shoes at the security check and dealing with more aggressive searches than before. It is a normal and accepted part of air travel.

The question that many travelers are now starting to ask: is the hassle making us safer?

The United States Government Accountability Office did a study in September of 2009 about the security of commercial airports. It was discovered that most of the airports in the United States had never even undergone a risk assessment analysis. This means that there is no way to develop a proper security plan because there is no way to determine the fundamental security weaknesses. 

United States airports are not the only ones that have weaknesses. Although certain standards have been implemented to insure that bags are screened, there have been several close calls involving possible terrorist bombings. The most recent occurred over Christmas - peak travel time.

On December 25th, 2009 a man boarded a flight from Amsterdam to the United States with a bomb sewn into his underpants. The potential terrorist attack was eventually thwarted, but the accused bomber was able to board the flight, leaving many people wondering if the additional precautions that have been taken over the last several years are really doing anything to increase security.

Some specialists have said that the airports have to be the last line of defense. It is likely that if any terrorists get to the airport in the first place then the security will not do much to hinder their plans. Others say that specific measures for individual airports can be determined through threat analysis instead of relying on hit and miss tactics.

The added bag checks and screenings leave fewer opportunities for criminals to steal bags from unsuspecting travelers. Another added benefit of the additional security is that passengers are more aware of their surroundings for the most part than they were just a few years back. The recent bombing attempt and the famed shoe bombing attempt were both stopped by passengers that noticed something was not right and took the initiative to report the suspicion.

There will never be a way to make anything completely safe. The criminal mind has a creative way of finding loop holes in any system. Although the high airport security that has been put into place since the 9/11 attacks may not be all that it could or should be, the truth is that since the measures have been installed there have been no successful attempts at terrorism through the airline industry.

Many people would like to see more airport security implemented as long as it is more efficient than that which currently exists and does not add to the travel time that is already proven to be such a hassle.

The airline industry as a whole has suffered tremendous losses over the last couple of decades. Not only has the cost of flying lost its appeal to consumers (because of prolonged waits in the airport and on the tarmac) but the 24 hour news need has given high publicity to any troubles that occur within the airline industry – from tortuous delays to unexplained crashes.

The maiden flight.

There is hope on the horizon. New technology coupled with ingenuity has opened the sky to a new kind of plane. The Boeing 787 is crafted from new materials that allow for lighter and larger airplanes. The interior design focuses on the comfort and convenience of passengers. 

The design the Boeing 787 took seems to take everything into account that passengers and safety advocates could desire. The unique qualities include LED lighting which lasts longer and generates less heat than incandescent lights. Windows are larger and passengers are able to adjust the tint on their individual windows. The High Efficiency Particulate Air filters will help to reduce throat, eye and nose irritation often associated with air travel. Larger seats and lavatories along with more aisle room will also increase the overall experience of flying on the Boeing 787.

Another component of the Boeing 787 is the increase in overhead storage space. The last several years has seen an increase in the amount of carry-on luggage. The enlarged overhead storage makes it easier for passengers to put their bags away and secure them. The ease of access and the increased amount of overhead storage could eliminate the need for passengers to stow any bags under their seats.

The next generation has arrived.

One of the more significant changes is the structure of the Boeing 787. The use of a composite fuselage allows the cabin to be pressurized at a lower level than other air crafts. This will add to the comfort of passengers by decreasing the number of headaches that are experienced during travel. It will also help with dizziness and fatigue that are caused by increased absorption of oxygen from higher rates of pressurization.

Industry experts are just as excited about what the Boeing 787 has to offer. It is smaller than the Airbus which means it will be able to better withstand a depressed travel market brought on by the economy and other threats. The turnaround for production is also expected to be much faster.

There is no magic cure for the struggling airline industry. It will take working on customer service and cost efficiency to help pull airlines up out of the red. The good news is that the Boeing 787 could be one of the tools that will help to tackle both of the major issues haunting the airline industry.

Some engine porn.

The Boeing 787 offers passengers more space, comfort and convenience. At the same time it provides airline companies with better fuel efficiency. Passengers will find that many of the ‘minor inconveniences’ that have plagued them when flying have been addressed in the design of the Boeing 787.

There may still be some minor issues that passengers will have to deal with when flying. The Boeing 787 goes a long ways towards making air travel an opportunity to enjoy, appreciate and even look forward to in the future.

What do you do? If you see that he’s been reading an Andy McNab novel or a Robert Ludlum thriller, a quick nudge in his ribs could result in a karate punch to your larynx. Even if he’s only been reading ‘Gardening Weekly’, any sudden move on your part could set off a coronary in him. And don’t even think about dipping his fingers in the melting ice from your plastic carton of soda; you’ll get one black eye out of sheer shock, and another for making him wet his pants.

Too much coffee. Time to act.

Here are a few suggestions for anyone who needs to wake the person next to them up on a plane without sustaining an injury.

1) Begin subtly

It’s generally not a good idea to be unduly forthright at the outset. Think of this as a dogged military campaign rather than a single battle. And if your sleeping companion needs to be roused from blissful slumber because of your bladder, try to be ‘proactive’. If you’ve had a cup of tea, coffee, a mineral water or a soda, you’re going to need to pee, so don’t wait until the tears are welling in your eyes. It may seem a bit feeble, but clearing your throat in a slightly louder than ordinary volume may be enough to bring the culprit at least a little closer to consciousness. You might like to try this a few times before abandoning it. If the snoring continues, and especially if he snuggles in closer to you, it’s time for step two.

2) Introduce some movement.

Even though your feigned cough involves some physical movement on your part, the fact that your snoring obstacle is still securely in the land of nod is compelling evidence that it hasn’t been enough. Time to ramp it up a little. At this stage, you’re aiming to lift him out of deep, ‘Rapid Eye Movement’ sleep into a light doze. A slightly theatrical, over-the-top ‘yawn and stretch’ may help here, but make sure you gently but firmly disturb his sleeping contours, especially if he’s using you as a surrogate pillow. This is often enough to lift your unconscious stranger up through the mists of mellow sleepfulness, at least enough to hear you clearing your throat (which you should do again straight after this manoeuvre). If at this point you get a zero response – and a row of Bell’s Whisky miniatures on the flip-down table over his belly might give you a clue that stronger medicine is required – you’re going to up the ante a bit more.

3) Time to talk

This is the point at which you might need to resort to audible speech. No matter now shy and retiring you naturally are, you’re going to need at this stage of the campaign to open a conversation with another stranger. Preferably, choose the person sitting just across the aisle. Invent some excuse for a pretext, something like ‘Excuse me – I wonder if I could trouble you to fetch my travel bag from the compartment above me; I’m afraid this chap’s asleep and I can’t get out.’ The combination of human voice (the other person will hopefully reply, even if only to say ‘Tough luck.’) The point is that hearing is still active in the sleeping brain, and especially when combined with movement (and the sounds of movement) may well shift mental gears, pulling the sleeper much, much closer to consciousness. If your obstruction is still asleep, things are now getting much more serious. Each of the prior three steps are designed to bring a sleeping subject closer to wakefulness on an incremental basis. Now it’s time to get a bit bolder.

4) Time to act
A full bladder may well be capable of releasing your inner extrovert, and by now you’re going to need his or her help. Now you’re going to have to deliver a potentially Oscar winning performance. Forget politely clearing your throat; now you’re going to perform the part of ‘Man Choking on Aeroplane.’ Cough at the top of your coughing range, jolt your body, splutter, and gasp noisily. If you don’t wake him up, the person rushing to give you the Heimlich Manoeuvre may. You’ve got to go thorough with this phase and commit to it; you can’t afford to turn back now, unless you intend to pee yourself. You have to put body and soul into this performance; your coughs must be convulsive and percussive, forcing you to sit forward abruptly and, of course, make a lot of noise.

This man waited as long as he could.

5) Emergency

If even this fails, you’re probably going to need a defibrillator pad. The guy beside is either in a coma or he’s had a heart attack. In which case, he’s not going to knock your lights out if you start hollering, at the top of your voice, for help.

One small tip for future flights: at all costs, whatever else you do, always sit on the seat nearest the aisle, and drink as much fluid as you like. And, of course, doze – but listen out for the sound of someone clearing their throat if you want to avoid a shock.

Get these right and everything else will feel like a wonderful luxury; get them wrong and luxuries will feel like diabolical stupidities, mocking you and persecuting you throughout your holiday. I always have to be talked out of carrying the equivalent of a small corner of the British Library away with me, even though I know I’ll only read a fraction of what I bring. I’m inclined to regret not bringing the very books I decided didn’t have the ‘x-factor’ when I packed, so I overcompensate by attempting to haul tedious tomes which will definitely just lie around unopened as soon as the beach beckons. Bad habits like this have to be soundly ditched today.

Putting together a list of essential items helps you get your head around the reality of finite limits. Wish lists are weightless, luggage isn’t. Here is a list of essential luggage items which should come before just about everything else. Extras are a bonus to enhance your trip; if you mistake them for essentials and fail to carry the vital stuff, you’ll spend the holiday inwardly braying like a dumb-ass.

Don’t forget the moonies.

1. Passport, Tickets, Money

It may seem too obvious to mention, but if you don’t bring these with you to the airport, you won’t be going anywhere other than straight back home. Always think of them as priority luggage essentials. I’d also include under this heading currency and credit cards – you’ll save yourself a lot of bother if you’re with armed with these vital tools. Check that you’ve got them before you shut the front door.

2. Clothing

Unless you’re a Hollywood superstar on a movie promotion, you won’t have to squeeze your entire wardrobe into your aeroplane. Think about the climate and the season of the place you’re visiting. Do you need to keep warm or cool? Will you be dining out in the evening, and if so, where and how often? Going to a family friendly eatery is going to have different sartorial requirements to dining in a prestigious restaurant; don’t take a tux and a bow-tie if you’ll be spending most of your evenings in ‘The Crazy Dolphin’ burger joint. And think about what you’ll be wearing to the beach and the local supermarket – a three-piece suit with waistcoat and fob watch might look just a little odd.

And unless you intend to sleep au naturel, don’t forget some pyjamas or at least a pair of shorts. If you do plan to sleep in your birthday suit, take a dressing gown – answering the door to an unexpected knock from hotel staff when you’re wearing only a precariously poised tea-towel or paperback will be more than a little awkward.

Taking clothing is important to avoid nakedness.

3. Underwear

Strictly speaking, this is still in the clothing category. But I think it merits a separate mention. As an undergraduate, I quickly discovered that underwear did not simply appear by magic in my top drawer, carefully folded by the underwear fairy. Going commando just once to my lectures and seminars was enough to convince me that I had to make sure I had an adequate, fresh supply. You won’t need to stuff a duvet cover with them; just take enough to get you through the week or 10 days. Life is extraordinarily uncomfortable without them. And utterly unspeakable with any you’ve already worn once. Wear, wash and dry – never, ever wear, wear, and wash.

4. Shoes

Again, as we’re not born with them, these items are still strictly in the clothing category. But like underwear, they’re worthy of a separate mention in order to underline their importance. You might think that a holiday in, say, Ibiza means walking everywhere in sandals. But if you go to a top nightclub or one of the many swanky restaurants or bars on the island, you’re going to look like an escapee from a 1960’s hippie convention if that’s the only footwear you’ve got. At least one pair of comfortable trainers and one pair of smarter shoes should cover most eventualities.

Might be worth packing sunscreen when going somewhere hot, know what I mean?

5. Climate protection

Again, this sounds obvious but it’s worth pausing over and even writing a list for. Do you need protection from the sun, the cold or the wet? If you’re going skiing, you’ll need protection from all three, both in terms of the clothing you take and the sunscreen you pack. But if you’re sun worshipping on a scorching tropical beach, thermal socks and woollen pullovers will be a bit excessive. Okay, nobody’s going to confuse such obvious extremes. But if, for example, you’re taking a trip to the Costa del Sol in the Spring, it’ll be chilly without being polar. You might need a cardigan, but skiing jackets and fur lined gloves will be a bit over the top. A collapsible umbrella can also be very useful.

6. Toiletries

Unless you intend to use only those pathetic, postage-stamp sized blips of soap the hotel leaves ‘for you convenience’, don’t forget to bring a sensible array of toiletries with you. A good sized bar of soap or bath or shower gel, some cologne, body lotion and face moisturiser, skin toner and shampoos, hair conditioner and hair styling products all fall under this category, as do nail polish and nail polish remover. It might be stretching the category a bit, but if you’ve got long and/or curly hair, you’ll also almost certainly need a hair dryer and hair straighteners.

Finally, unless your mobile phone has at least a 5 megapixel version on it, don’t forget to take a good camera.

Then, just relax and enjoy!

Immediately, the meaning of the word ‘vital’ is up for scrutiny. What may be vital to me may be trivial to someone else. I once had a colleague who clearly found oral hygiene a decadent luxury; a few words from him in a confined space could induce rapid unconsciousness, possibly followed by convulsions. But for me, the idea of going without toothpaste (and floss and mouthwash, to be neurotically honest) for anything over twelve hours would be tantamount to cruel and unusual punishment.

Readers beware: any list like this will be inflected with the writer’s hang-ups and preoccupations to some extent. But, these days, I’m fairly confident that most people regard toothpaste as a staple rather than a luxury or a silly fad. So here are some items I think most of us will regard as pretty vital.

Keeping you below 100ml…

Top of the list, as you might have guessed, is toothpaste. It makes you feel ready for sleep at night and human in the morning (although it seems to me that humans are the only animals who seem to acquire the most hideous, weapons-grade breath by daybreak. Do hamsters get morning breath?). Just don’t leave without it (and the stuff you buy in France or Spain never seems to taste the same – I always feel I’m using broccoli flavoured paste when I’ve bought this stuff; or maybe haddock). I personally feel that 100ml of mouthwash is also essential – especially if you can’t fit a bigger bottle into your hold luggage.

Anyone who is prone to dry skin like me will not regard emollients as luxuries, unless you want to step out of the shower and find your skin has turned to ancient Egyptian papyrus within minutes. At least two – and preferably four – of your bottles should be filled with equal quantities of face cream and body lotion.

Next, don’t scrimp on your vanity enhancers. Shampoo and hair conditioner – especially if you use a specific product – definitely fall into the vital category in my book. And equally important in this department is taking enough of the hair styling product you use to get you through the holiday (quite a lot of us have spent years of trial and error before settling on just the right one for our particular Barnets; we aren’t going to let it go without a fight).

Whilst many of us who are still struggling to let go of our Neanderthal natures may find the next few suggestions surplus to requirement, many of the ‘female persuasion’, as Basil Fawlty once put it, will regard them as absolute essentials.

If you’re travelling to go on holiday, or even on business, you’re going to want to look your best as often as you can. And, especially for women, elegant nails are essential details of chic and elegance. Never, ever travel without both nail polish and nail polish remover, or you’re going to feel as though your slip is showing or even worse, that you’ve accidentally tucked your dress into your knickers.

…prevents you doing this.

Another essential which men, I believe, can be persuaded to try out is skin toner. Ok! So I’ve been persuaded to try it out; why are you looking at me like that? It really, truly refreshes and enlivens your skin after you’ve washed your face at night and makes you feel just peachy (oh my God – did I really write that out loud?).

To recap, my top ten essential 100ml liquids to take on a flight are:

• Toothpaste
• Mouthwash
• Face Cream
• Body Lotion
• Shampoo
• Hair Conditioner
• Hair Styling Product
• Nail Polish
• Nail Polish Remover
• Skin Toner

To make some concessions to dissident perspectives (and don’t forget, with weight restrictions on hold luggage too, you may not be able to carry additional supplies of some or any of the above), here are some permutations. I’m not going to suggest which ones to drop – that’s down to personal preference.

Too big! Get off my plane!

Young mums, though, may be grateful of a good slug or two of baby formula or expressed milk for when that delightful little sleeping cherub wakes up and starts hollering for a feed. And if you’re going somewhere infernally hot, especially if, like me, you go from light blue to boiled lobster red in the blink of an eye, some sun screen might be more than simply handy.

Bizarre options which I’ve come across include hot pepper sauce, mayonnaise, fountain pen ink and linseed oil. Who knows why these were selected as vital items for hand luggage liquids. I can see how someone might get addicted to hot pepper sauce (I used to know someone who used to shake a few drops into his Budweiser), but the attraction to fountain pen ink and linseed oil defeats my imaginative resources, unless one person was a calligrapher and the other a cricketer, carrying his beloved bat in the hold. And anyone who brings a supply of Vodka, Gin and Vermouth in 100 ml bottles probably needs professional help.

In short, we’re all different and we’ll all have different priorities at the end of the day. The list above is not meant to be exhaustive, just suggestive. But anyone who chooses mayonnaise over toothpaste has serious emotional problems, in my considered opinion.

We’re all familiar with the Lonely Planet and Rough Guides, or the more traditional AA and Berlitz ones, but years ago, and I’m thinking particularly of the 1930s, the definitive travel guide to anywhere in the UK was the Ward Lock Red Guides. These delightful pocket-sized publications contained detailed information about any area of the country, including maps, lists of hotels and boarding houses and how much they charged, along with details of schools, bus services, railways, shops and even estate agents, should you be thinking of moving to the area.

Douglas Adams, writer of the greatest travel guide of all-time. Bit short on information about Bembridge…

But the thing that comes across most when reading these publications is that, a bit like the modern-day Rough Guides and their like, the people writing them have actually visited the places and not just regurgitated a list of facts about the town or village they are describing. And because of the age, the style of writing is a pure delight.

Take this example from the 1937-38 Red Guide to the Isle of Wight. The book is comprehensive and includes an entry for each town and village on the island. It is mostly complementary, until you get to the entry for the town of Bembridge.

Do not let this gorgeous windmill fool you.

“Let us say frankly, lest we be accused of raising false hopes, that Bembridge will not suit every taste. It is a quiet, unconventional, old-world spot. Concert parties may pay occasional visits, but we have never seen them; it has no band that we ever heard of; and its residents and frequenters seem to have come to the tacit understanding that in the matter of dress ‘anything will do’. The scenery is not sublime; the smaller shops are still rather primitive; and we are not even sure that the older cottages conform to the very latest requirements of civilisation. But f you care for a place where the only noise is the laughter of children, where the only daylight occupations are yachting, golfing, bathing, tennis and fishing, and the evening occupations as nearly as possible nil, then Bembridge is not likely to disappoint.”